How To Take A Step Back From your Bias


Almost everyone I know had this ”affliction” of the heart. If you’re reading this, I bet my on my tuna sashimi that you have or had a celebrity crush whether you admit it or not. According to the Urban Dictionary, crush is ”a burning desire to be with someone you find very attractive and extremely special.” But that’s just one definition; some of us are not really into the “burning desire” category. We crush on them simply because they have nice hair, deep set eyes, or great voice. The admiration is given from afar and some are quite satisfied that way. However, some of us go way beyond and infinity from ”burning desire” to squeezing or pounding themselves into the lives of their bias. Obsession is probably the normal way to label the qualities of people who go beyond what is perceived as a normal fan or admirer. It doesn’t limit to hours of research, collecting hundreds of celebrity merchandise or going to every conceivable concert and event. They go beyond, under, sideways, horizontally, vertically and diagonally just to know every single little detail of their favorite celebrity. These guys are worst than the hounds we fondly call paparazzi. They follow you home and leave some creepy ”gifts” under your door. They know when you scratch, you sneeze, you pee and you poop. And these my little friends are called stalkers. Stalking is a very, very, very bad thing to do. It’s more than invasion of privacy. It’s violation of your right to live the life you want. It’s scary and it’s also illegal. Yes! You could go to jail so before the thump thump in your heart gets you to jail, I’d like to share some tips on how to take a step back. We don’t want to completely turn away because, let’s face it, this life sucks without them. I am a dedicated fangirl. I should know.

First things first, I want you to know that I’m not gonna tell you to ”Grow up honey!” Nope, that’s not me. I’ve said it to myself a million times, I’m not gonna tell you that because some people just can’t grow up. I do have one question though, how old are you? 10? 12? 15? 18? 20? If you fall in those ages and between those, ask yourself the following questions. Do you have more than one celebrity crush? I think we’ve defined what is crush already right? From simple admiration to burning desire, that’s our level of measurement here. Alright, back to the questions. Is this the first time you felt a strong connection to a person? Do you like his/her hair, face, body, voice, or talent? Do you have posters all over your wall or even just one poster or picture in your wallet? Does your heart flip when you see them whip their hair, smile brightly, sing passionately or act brilliantly? Do you get jealous when you find out about their girl (boy) friends? Do you think you are the one for him/ her and him/her for you? Do you have fantasies in your mind or create a dozen fanfictions in your mind about them? Do you want to be an actor or a singer so your worlds would cross one day? Do you feel like falling in love with him/her? If you answered yes to two or to all the questions, then honey, it definitely is just a crush. You like him. You like her. That is perfectly fine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Let your hearts skip a beat, sigh, squeal and jump. We’re young and our hearts are on fire. However, this fire could either die out fast or could burn you. Most young hearts are just naive and some pretty excited hormones. I know that’s a real bummer. Don’t worry, just give one afternoon to pause, laugh and think “Oh you are so cute! Why are we not together? *insert laugh here* You’re so famous and I’m not.” Bummer! That should do it, then you can always go back to squealing then back again to thinking, then to squealing and the cycle goes on.

Now we get to the hard questions. It doesn’t matter in what age bracket you fall this time. You can be eight or one hundred eight for all I care. Do you know that celebrities were psychologically designed by their promoters to see what you want them to be? They’re talented, caring, humble, sweet, funny and nice. I am not saying that they’re not. Some are genuinely nice and gems in the haystack. Can you take the fact that sometimes they’re a slob, boring, snob and take a dump every day? Do you feel like when they meet you, they’ll value you as a person and not as a fan? Are you aware that you are unconsciously applying certain characteristics to them that you would like in a person? Do you still feel a strong connection even after not seeing them or hearing from them for months? Let’s make that a year. You haven’t heard ANYTHING from them for a year; do you still feel that doki doki in your heart? Do you have intellectual thoughts that could possibly be beyond your age? Unless you really are one hundred and eight, then what could be beyond that? Do you have a clear picture in your head of what you want your life to be? Are you working towards that goal? Do you share a lot similar interests? If they were asked what their ideal partner is, do you fit that description and not just working your way to fit the idea? Honestly, do you think they would really, really like you as you? Is there the smallest of chances that you would meet them and talk to them? If you answered yes to all of the questions IN ALL HONESTY, then darling, congratulations! You can now sulk in misery. You crossed the fine line of admiration to falling in love. But I doubt that. Liar.

Shall we face the music? You are not gonna meet them. If you do, remember what you are. A FAN and that’s how they’re going to see you. How to put salve on this wound? Be with friends. Be with somebody you can spazz on your favorite celebrity. Yes! It’s healthy! Scary thoughts come when you’re alone. If you’re jumping up and down on a couch with a friend because of excitement, do it with a friend who feels the same way. It’s more thrilling, less creepy and less chances of getting hurt. At least be with someone who understands your joy but can still slap you back to earth when you’re floating too high. Be each other’s keeper. Be interested in other things. Your life just can’t be about them. Your oppa won’t like it. Be interesting by being interested in other things. As long as it’s not illegal and fatal, DO IT! Play marbles, cook omelettes and take pictures of food (make sure it’s on instagram and real time), swim in the fountain, pick up an instrument and play, write your sappiness, get a passport, travel and see the world. Remember, you can always go back to being a fan but you cannot bring back the chance of you being fabulous. I am dead serious about one thing though. Never, ever lose your morals as person just because you’re a fan. Don’t sell your soul to the devil or sell your body just so you could be close to them. Be a person. There is a serious possibility that by being a fabulous person, your celebrity crush/ bias may just have the chance to know you and like you. But again, I doubt that.


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